April 23,Covid-19 Pandemic

WOW!  I didn't realize it had been so long since I've updated. I'm not gonna lie - it's been rough!  While we have made many wonderful family memories, enjoyed cooking, and spending time together, all this time inside waiting on the outside world to figure this thing out has taken a toll on my mental health. Despite exercising more, getting outside regularly, and trying to stay positive, I found myself napping more, feeling weepy more, having this feeling like the world is going to explode out of my chest if I don't DO something soon.  It's been rough.

And then we found out students will NOT be returning to school this year. Not only did Andy and I have to break that news to Emma, thus breaking her heart, but my heart also broke too.  No good-byes - no send off for Summer Vacation - no watching those kiddos I've seen grow from timid little 6th graders to mature(er) 8th graders ready for high school cross the stage and get their promotion ceremony. I'm sad. And I'm worried about many of them. Many of their families are struggling financially because the economy has been shut down for 6 weeks. Many of them were financially insecure, even BEFORE the shutdown. They are isolated from their peers - they can't even go to the park and spend time with them. It's heartwrenching.

The other change over the past weeks is masks. We are now asked to wear masks when we go to stores to purchase our essentials. The first time I wore mine felt surreal. I mean - this is AMERICA!  We are healthy and safe and one of the most powerful countries in the world with one of the best health care systems. How did we get to a point where we are wearing protective masks just to go to the store? And now, some stores are requiring their workers to wear masks during their shifts. It's mind-boggling how quickly our world has changed in a few short weeks.

My Mask

Andy mocking masks

The good news is that here in Kentucky, we haven't been overrun with cases. Hospitals can handle the load, and the governor even thinks we may be plateau on the number of cases and can reopen businesses soon. In fact, he's hoping elective and non-emergent medical services can resume next week. That's great news because it means some retail and personal services aren't far behind. What remains to be seen, however, is what will open up for summer. I doubt Emma and I will be spending hours at the pool. I doubt the library will have its Summer Programming, and I'm not sure about the parks. Social Distancing is our way of life for the foreseeable future.

Since we've been home so much, Andy has gotten the boat in working condition. That will give our family something to do this summer since our vacation has been canceled. We can spend time on the lake with some of our friends. It may be the only way to get some good sun this summer.

Emma enjoying the Disney Quarantine Sing-A-Long

Because I have been struggling, I had an online visit with my Dr. today. I usually try to decrease my anti-depressant medications. I've been trying to talk him into taking me off of them entirely for the past year or so. Today I asked for an increase. I had to admit to myself that I'm going to need some additional help to get through the next several months. That was difficult to accept, but I think it's the right thing. We'll see how it goes.

So things are beginning to look up, although there are still many unknowns in the coming months. My goal is to enjoy the heck out of my little girl, spend time as a family, making memories, and work to maintain a positive attitude. At this point, that's all we can do.

Emma wrote a thank-you note to nurses and doctors.